Only bad people get attacked by animals
Posted by razzbuffnik on June 8th, 2008
Last night my wife and I went to a dinner at my friend, Mark’s place.
I’ve known Mark for about 15 years and we met each other in an outdoors activity club called SPAN (Sydney Perverts and Nyphos). Mark is one the guys that I climbed the Three Sisters, naked with.
The reason for the dinner was to test out a few Indian recipes that Mark (who is a chef) and Sonia want to serve at their wedding in November.
One of the interesting things that came out in the conversation at the table was that people who get attacked by animals must be bad people.
I told a story about when I was about 12 and I was attacked by a dog as I walked down an alley. I was just walking along with a friend and, unbeknownst to me, a dog was waiting behind a bush. As I came to the bush near the end of the alley, the dog jumped out at me unprovoked, and tore a chunk out my shoulder and then ran off. It was a pretty nasty bite and I was disturbed to see a hole about 25mm (about an inch) square with muscle fibre hanging out of my upper arm.
One of the guests (not in the photo) at the table just blurted out, “you must be a bad person!”
Years ago I was closing up a shop that I was the manager of . I had just opened the front door, to pull down the security grate when a tiny little poodle that had been dyed bright pink tried to savage me. As I jumped back in surprise, a transvestite sitting on a nearby stoop with his boyfriend hissed out at me, “well you must be a fucked up person!”
P.S.
My mother sent me this comment via E-mail:
“re the Pink Poodle…..if you were a dog, and subject to that sort of crap, you’d be one bitchy little dog too”
June 8th, 2008 at 4:47 am
It’s true. Animals know. They are close to god and nature. I hope you have changed. Amend your ways before something worse happens.
Wait, no. Domestic dogs are perversions of nature. . . . I’ll have to get back to you on this.
June 8th, 2008 at 5:31 am
What does it say about you if a dingo steals your baby?
June 8th, 2008 at 5:54 am
Cafe Selavy
Awww thanks maaaaaate!
Finkenwalde
That oviously you’re praying to the wrong god and you’re very bad.
June 9th, 2008 at 8:49 am
Ok. Now, I love your mother! Climbing naked, not so much.
June 9th, 2008 at 9:04 am
Pat
I’m sure you and my mum would get on like a house on fire. Mum is a real straight shooter. No “bs” at all. She just hates it when people torment and mess animals around, like dressing them up in clothes or dying them.
As for naked climbing. It’s something that one should try at least once in their life, no?
June 9th, 2008 at 10:51 am
No.
June 9th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
I just love that you used “savage” as a verb. I’m always entertained by that…the most dignified way to describe a violent attack.
June 9th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Brooks.
Ahhh….. English. So flexible! No wonder it’s a very difficult language to learn.