Australia says “get knotted” to Starbucks.
Posted by razzbuffnik on August 4th, 2008
It was announced in the papers here in Australia last week that Starbucks is going to close about 75% of its stores in this country. The fact that of the 84 Starbucks locations in Australia, 61 will be closed, is a resounding slap in the face to an arrogant multinational giant.
Over the last several years I have been back and forth to North America, and I have constantly been amazed by the amount of people who think that Starbucks makes a good coffee. It used to bug the shit out of me when locals over there used to drag me into Starbucks for a coffee like they were doing some poor clueless bumpkin a favour. I’d always go kicking and screaming, saying that “don’t you want to support a smaller business that actually makes good coffee?” My protests were usually met with blank stares of non-comprehension and embarrassed mumbles of, “but they make good coffee”.
“NO THEY DON’T!” I would impotently counter.
Saying that I hated Starbucks produced on my host’s faces, expressions reminiscent of a puppy being smacked over the nose with a rolled up newspaper. I’d try to explain how bad the coffee was, and they just didn’t get it. I’d just get that hurt puppy dog eyes thing. Then I would try to explain that it is better to support small local businesses than some large chain. They still didn’t get it. More sad little eyes. I also tried to explain that the insincere and obsequeious “crawling for tips” demeanour of Starbucks staff wasn’t actually good service.
It’s demeaning to customers and staff alike. It pains me to see people grovel.
I even tried pointing out to them that the cakes that they offered were very poor, but to no avail. It was like trying to explain what an orgasm was to plankton.
My wife has a poster above her desk at work that shows a pig sitting in mud, with the caption, “never try and teach a pig how to sing. It’s a waste of time and it irritates the pig”
Not only is the coffee at Starbucks very mediocre, but all the stupid names that they name their coffee irritates the hell out of me.
“Just give me a fuckin cappuccino you grinning crawler!”
Here in Australia we have a large Italian population that has thankfully dragged the Anglo Irish majority into an appreciation of what a good coffee should taste like.
It always seemed to me, an incredibly arrogant act of hubris that Starbucks tried to sell their bland crap here in Australia. One would have thought that a business which has all the resources of such a large company would have done a little bit of market research. We have a very well established and sophisticated coffee culture here.
The only reason why Starbucks does so well in North America, is that outside of the very large cities, it is incredibly hard to get a good cup of coffee. A couple of years ago I spent a week in Santa Fe, and to my consternation I wasn’t able to find a decent cappuccino the whole time I was there. One would think that in Santa Fe, which is the second-largest art market in North America, there would be some demand for a decent coffee and that demand would be catered for.
In a week in Santa Fe, I did not have one single decent cappuccino.
One time, when I asked for a cappuccino, I was brought milkshake glass full of whipped cream and extremely weak coffee. I was getting so sick and tired of getting such stupid concoctions that I asked to see the manager and I thought I’d straighten him out. Perhaps I could give him a lesson in how make a real cappuccino, after all, I have a espresso machine at home.
How hard could it be?
When I told the manager that a milkshake glass full of cream wasn’t a cappuccino and that I was willing to show him how to make a proper one, he indignantly retorted, “but I was taught how to make cappuccinos by Starbucks”, as though it was something to be proud of!
Oh, well at least I can be happy with the fact that there is only 23 Starbucks stores left in Australia. With any luck they’ll go belly up as well.
It’s too bad that McDonald’s have smarter marketing people, and they have researched the local market so that they produce some products that at least gives a nod to the local demands. I’d like to see McDonald’s and all those other horrible fast food chains go the same way as Starbucks.
August 4th, 2008 at 5:42 am
I had to get my cup of coffee before I responded. I’m not kidding. But, it’s “Dunkin Donuts” coffee, another big company here in US, but not as pretentious and you can get a cup of coffee in under five minutes which simply never ever is possible at a Starbucks. That alone, I thought would have prevented it from becoming popular! But, so much for my business sense.
Having said that, I think you’d probably think Dunkin Donuts coffee is bland, too, as Starbucks to me was always much, much stronger (I drink it black). So, our coffee tastes may be different so if you ever come to Massachusetts bring your expresso machine in your bag. I don’t want to piss you off so early in the morning, that’s for sure!!
But, that logo thing is brilliant! Are you getting back into Illustrator and Photoshop?? Wow.
August 4th, 2008 at 8:22 am
I love a good coffee. And I’ve yet to have one at Starbucks.
Give me my homebrewed French Vanilla any day . . .
It’s about being cool, unfortunately. So many folks think it’s just the hippest thing to do . . . go to Starbucks and spend too much for crap.
We have several closing stateside as well . . .
August 4th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Thumbs up! I’ll fight those giants with you, anytime.
For me the quality of a coffee or a tea or whatever always depends on the context of physical and social environment that it is being served in. A little local shop, with old stools, nice jazzy music or no music, local neighbours, a chat, the smell, be it in East Turkey or Italy or Ushuaia, this is what brings about magic. And than the taste of the liquid in the cup does not matter that much anymore.
On the other hands, neon-hip-hop-loud-shiny-plasticfantastic… – nah, no cofee can ever neutralise the influence of The Dark Side of The Force.
August 4th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Pat
Good coffee doesn’t have to be pretentious. The Italians have incorporated coffee into their lives as an every day thing. It’s all about quality, not pose (that might sound like an oxymoron what it comes to Italians).
A friend of mine who grew up in Zambia told me once that the Zambians mainly eat a bland paste of ground up corn and wouldn’t eat many things that we take for granted as they would think they were too weird. I see sticking to the bland familiar things as a bit of a pity when there is so many great things just waiting to be enjoyed.
I’m particularly annoyed with the large fast food chains that cater and cultivate a stick-in-the mud mind set.
I see comfort zones as prisons.
Tysdaddy
I’ve never associated Starbucks with cool. I have heard that going to a McDonalds for a Chinese peasant is considered a big deal for a special occasion. Here in Australia, coffee shops are usually places where one goes to relax whilst having a good coffee. Sure, some coffee shops try to give of some kind of “cool” vibe, but most of the ones here are pretty mellow places.
Robert
Sounds like we’re on the same page with this. But of course, you’re Slovenian! You know about what a good coffee is and you’ve been blessed with that inate European knowlendge of how to enjoy life.
Meet me at the barricades and we’ll ready ourselves for the Starbucks counter attack!
August 4th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
Aha, once again, I am going to completely disagree with everybody.
First of all, Starbucks, the “arrogant multinational giant” does offer benefits to people who work 20 hours or more. I am not aware of workplace policies in Australia, but here in the States, part-time employees generally get squat or near-squat. Also, they offer benefits to gay partners.
The coffee is not great. I’ll give you that, but people in the neighborhood get to know each other at Starbucks. It is not as if the corporation had killed little coffeehouses, it’s just that in many places, coffeehouses simply did not exist. If you did not live in San Fran, New York, or the Pacific Northwest, you had virtually no coffeehouses. Starbucks mainstreamed the habit and I would surmise that it led to the creation of many small coffeehouses which serve great coffee.
I have about 4 Starbucks in my neighborhood and three of them display the work of neighborhood artists (which can be incredibly bad at times.) I can go to any of these shops in the morning and know that I’ll be able to sit with friends. Look at it as blogging: what you read is not always good but it’s all about the social interaction.
August 4th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
Oh I forgot, nice logo! Have never seen that kind of tatas on any of the barristas though. It’s Hooterbucks!
August 4th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Nat
Here in Australia we have meaningful minimum wage laws. You’ll never see in small print on menus here, “please tip our wait staff as we pay below the minimum wage” (as I’ve seen in a restaurant in Columbus Ohio). I wouldn’t want to work in the service industry in the US, that’s for sure.
I particularly resent the way how large chains dumb everything down. They want to appeal to the widest market possible and they don’t really give a damn about excellence of product, only excellence of profit.
Don’t kid yourself that Starbucks is staffed by well cared for and happy staff. Just Google “disgruntled starbucks staff” or “I hate Starbucks”. They don’t really want real people to work for them, just happy little robots.
As for small coffee shops benefiting from Starbucks, I’m afraid you’ve got it the wrong way round. They are predatory, in terms of opening a “bucks” across the street from a hometown coffee shop to prey on their ready made customer base and then put them out of business.
Just about every little coffee shop in my area is a good place to meet up with friends and they serve good coffee as well. Then again, I live in a large multicultural city. I suppose that’s part of my point. Starbucks can only survive were the coffee culture isn’t well developed. I guess that one could say that Starbucks in an area is a symptom of a lack of coffee culture.
The large hooters on the logo is a parody of how Starbucks has made their logo less naughty over the years.
August 4th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
You know, Nathalie has a point about the social connection offered by Starbucks. I know an older guy who is on disability who lives with his 96 year old mother and he spends the entire day at his local starbucks with “his people”, apparently other folks who have some time and some loneliness.
August 5th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
I respectfully disagree. I think you have it the wrong way around. Independent coffee houses all across the US have profited tremendously from Starbucks. The numbers prove it. Please refer to this NPR link:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5381997
Starbucks currently has 44 stores in Seattle which is the crib of coffee culture in the US (that’s not even counting the number of Seattle’s Best which belongs to Starbucks as well.) I also think that Seattle qualifies as a large multi-cultural city.
I googled “Disgruntled Starbucks employees” and found this funny video:
http://www.trendpimp.com/media/751/Very_disgruntled_Starbucks_employee_bitching_on_her_webcam.html
Like it’s true that like some employees might be like disgruntled.
The kids make coffee. I’m not going to claim that their jobs pave the way to a bright future, not that it is an interesting job. It’s something you get out of high school to sustain you while you are in college. You probably make a whole lot less than if you are a waiter, but you enjoy better benefits.
And one last thing! I am quite elated that Starbucks serves inedible pastries. It saves me from myself.
August 5th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
Nat
I had a look at the link and a few others like it. I’m very suspicious of them because they all seem to have come out over a six month period. I smell PR spin.
Having aired my suspicions, it doesn’t make me right, just cynical.
It drives me crazy that people want such a uniformly bland experience.
I had a look at the video. Yep, it’s funny alright. For all the wrong reasons. Talk about the blond bimbo stereotype!
By the way, feel free to disagree. I can take it…….
I think.
August 6th, 2008 at 5:57 am
I have to admit to liking Starbucks’ mocha frappuccino but for real coffee I go elsewhere. The only way I can drink coffee is with a tiny bit of milk and really, really strong. I like my coffee so strong that my colleagues call it sludge and no matter how many extra shots they put in at Starbucks, it will never be strong enough. Their cappuccino makes me feel sick for some reason (way too milky, more like a latte with froth), and the London Starbucks pricing is ridiculous…It’s too expensive for not-great coffee. Actually, scratch that. It’s too expensive for coffee, full stop.
BUT I do get the neighbourhood interaction thing. I used to go to my local Starbucks to write in the evenings. They let me write as long as I liked, never asked me to leave, even if I only had one cup of herbal. Now I’ve moved. There’s (strangely) no Starbucks in our area, but our deli makes great coffee.
I’m torn. AND I’m loving this debate. Bring it on, Razzman!
August 6th, 2008 at 6:15 am
You’ve probably got no Starbucks in your area because there is aleady a good coffee culture in there. If the coffee shop in your area has any sense they’d set up wi-fi and pre-emt Slutguts from getting in.
Go tell them Razz says they should get wi-fi so they can kick Scumslops in the goolies!
August 6th, 2008 at 7:04 am
Slutguts? Scumslops? Starschmucks? This is brilliant. Giggling away here…
August 6th, 2008 at 8:46 am
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August 6th, 2008 at 11:52 am
Hilarious: Slutguts, scumslops, starschmucks.
I still don’t want to make you angry, though. Even though the derision would be brilliant.
August 7th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
What I hate is the ‘anything goes’ attitude, which you have described so well. Here in Slovenia I think we drink quite good coffe (on average). However there are places where the coffe is so terribly bad that you whish you could get Starbucks coffe instead
I am irritated by the fact that people will take (at least so it seams to me) anything that comes handy, regardless of the product.
The other thing is that some places are just ‘hip’ and even if they served ’shit with sugar on it’ there would still be crowd waiting for it.
I believe Starbucks is in many ways one of these – sure, there are people hanging there because they have that ‘communitiy’ feeling, but in my opinion, in most of the developed world there are many places and opportunities to ‘enjoy your community’.
August 7th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Another great post Razz, am not sure what I like more, the post itself, the logo or the debate. I think I’ll go for the last one.
Anyway, I was always strong opponent of large corporations and chains but I must say that Starbucks is not at the top of my list (though am not a big fan either). Probably because there are none around here.
That’s why I connect it to traveling in the West, as another hip thingy that awaits me in the big cities. The one thing I admittedly like about Starbucks is that it is a place where I can sit back comfortably for a long long time without feeling bad or getting dirty looks from waiters. It is always nicer to find a local joint but sometimes I feel like I just want my half hour in one of those armchairs, and pay the entry ticket/cup.
The coffee is not what I go there for, though you must admit it tends to be better than the warm brown water they normally serve in the States. I guess the biggest problem is that SB expanded worldwide, to the places where they know/knew what a good cup of coffee is. I’ll definitely have a good one tomorrow morning.
August 7th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
Cashmere
I think the reason why some people like Starbuck is that they don’t know any better. In North America I think that many fast food outlets have bright uncomfortable lighting to ensure that people eat and go quickly to ensure a high turn over. I guess Starbucks has identified that people want a place to hang out and chat in pleasant surroundings. This of course is all old news to people who’ve been exposed to a real coffee culture for generations like the old Italian men who sit in coffee shops all day.
With a bit of luck, my wife and I will be travelling through your country next year and I’ll (my wife hates coffee) get to try some coffee the Slovenian way. I’m crossing my fingers that it’s not like Greek coffee!
Grass
There has been a trend here in Australia to make coffee shops more comfortable places to hang out in, plus they serve real properly roasted coffee and I think that’s why Starbucks is struggling here.
I think you’re right about the normal filter coffee one gets served in restaurants over in the US. It’s not hard to improve on and I think that adds to the point I made before, when I said that Starbucks can only exist in places that don’t have a well established and sophisticated coffee culture.
August 12th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
In my experience, coffee in America sucks……
I make my own espresso with one of those funky octagonal Italian espresso caffetiere and I’ve discovered Aldi’s Organic Fair Trade coffee recently. It’s even cheap!
Good strong coffee should be smooth. Just because it’s strong doesn’t mean it has to suck your brains down into your guts when you drink it. It needs to be made at 94 degrees C, and those clever Italian thingies do it spot on. Oh and a dash of cream goes down really well, a la Francaise!
September 25th, 2008 at 7:09 am
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December 23rd, 2010 at 12:38 pm
Here in the Netherlands, Starbucks is quite rare. You only finds Starbucks at Schiphol, Amsterdam, Leiden and Utrecht near airports or railway stations and the highspeed trains between Amsterdam and Rotterdam or the international trains between Amsterdam and Brussels. The reason? We already have a established coffee culture with strong, decent coffee. And the strong marques Douwe Egberts. Even the fastfood giants McDonalds and Burger King sells Douwe Egberts coffee and tea.
Starbucks could be useful in countries with bad coffee such as UK or USA. Costa’s is a main competitior in the UK coffeehouse market. Ten years ago, good coffee in the UK was rare, today, UK have improved their coffee with thanks to the nearby continent. Countries with a established coffee culture, such as the European continent (Scandinavia, France, Italy, Spain, Austria, Germany) already have established brands (such as Illy) and coffeehouses, so for Starbucks there’s only a niche left.
January 2nd, 2011 at 11:59 am
Joost
You can even buy Douwe Egberts coffee and tea here in Australia.