All The Dumb Things

A cautionary tale in development

A different sense of what’s an appropriate present. Brugge, Belgium. 2009

Posted by razzbuffnik on January 8th, 2010

One of the first things we did in Brugge was to buy decent sized box of handmade Belgian chocolates. We found a cute little stone bridge over one of the canals and quickly scoffed down the lot until we felt sick.
 
There’s nothing like stuffing oneself with chocolate to put yourself off the stuff. Afterwards, over the next couple of days, it made us nauseous to even look at the elaborate displays in the numerous chocolatier’s shops in the old town .
 
I don’t think we ate any more chocolate for about two months after our pig out.
 
Having said how we had turned ourselves off even looking at chocolate, the display in the photo below caught my eye.
 
What can I say? Other than it sure was very different to all the other chocolate stores in Brugge. Talk about, “don’t compete, be unique”!
 
The writing, in three languages, on the white cards (which can’t be seen very well in size of image that I’ve put up here) says;
“KAMASUTRA
also ladies surprise.”
Ladies surprise……. gee I wonder (not really) what that is?
 
“A nice present for your father or friend.” 
 A nice present for your father? I bet that would make your mother happy.
 
Then again, am I missing something here?

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10 Responses to “A different sense of what’s an appropriate present. Brugge, Belgium. 2009”

  1. Pat Coakley Says:

    Not in a million years could I imagine giving this as a Father’s Day gift!!! However, if you or your wife ate one of these 38 Double D’s, I think I know why you were feeling queasy!! Hey, someone commented on my post about the rough crossing on the Queen Mary in 1956 that HE and his sister were on the same trip!! Isn’t it amazing? Reminds me of your portrait of that Jesuit priest in a very very remote area and you got responses from people who had been kids there and remembered him. Still think that is a movie, btw.

  2. Donald Diddams Says:

    Wow, these are really nice! And they come in sizes and colors to please a variety of tastes… I trust it is an equal opportunity store and they have something to please the ladies as well?
    Your story of too much chocolate reminds me of how I quit smoking more than 27 years ago. Chain-smoking unfiltered cigarettes and drinking cheap wine into the wee hours left me feeling unbelievably rotten the following day. I’ve never smoked since… although I will admit my taste for wine has returned!

  3. Nicolaï Says:

    Looks delicious!

  4. planetross Says:

    I wish someone bought me some of these: I’m tired of biting the ears off of chocolate Easter bunnies.

  5. Robert Says:

    Hey, these, akhm…, chocolates, look great. Absolutely inspiring.

    Are they made like a bra? Like can a woman put it on and wear it, and you sort of lick it off and stuff?

    Damn, this thought got me going!

    I want to buy these chocolates for my wife! Now!!

    GIVE ME THE BLOODY WEB-ADDRESS SO I CAN ORDER STRAIGHT AWAY AND HAVE IT DELIVERED TOMORROW!!!!! DO IT, DO IT!!!

  6. grasswire Says:

    We have been looking online to order a birthday cake for T’s party last week (we didn’t have time to bake another one) and came across similar items. The “cakes” were called “female nudes” and it turned out it would be much easier to get one of those than a plain cake ;)

  7. grasswire Says:

    Did you see anyone eating these in public?

    That would be a fun thing to experiment, to get someone to eat “the chocolates” in a cafe or similar and than observe (and photograph, of course) people’s reactions.

  8. razzbuffnik Says:

    Pat

    It really is a small world. I’ve got a few stories about how I’ve bumped into people I know from somewhere; on the opposite side of the world years later. It’s happened to me several times.

    Donald

    I think the guy might have been prejudiced as he didn’t have any white ones. (insert winking emoticon here)

    Nicolaï

    I think that it would taste pretty good for about a third of a breast and then I’m pretty sure most people wouldn’t want to eat any more for quite a while.

    Ross

    Those things were solid and you’d probably break your teeth on them. Stick to the bunnies.

    Robert

    What can I say? You are one twisted unit and you made me laugh out loud! And that’s why I like you.

    I think you could be onto something there. The chocolate breasts were solid but I’m sure next time you’re in Brugge, you could go into that chocolate shop and get the guy to make you some hollow ones that could be worn. I bet you wouldn’t be the only one to buy them.

    Grasswire

    Your mention of the nude cakes reminds me of when I first started out working in the carnival making pizzas (the laser show came later). Occasionally we used to make pizzas for the other carnies in the shape of nude women and we used to put chopped up jalapeno chilli peppers between the legs as pubic hair because we knew the guys would ALWAYS make a big show of eating crotch first. The look of shock on their faces when the realised they’d taken a mouthful of very hot chilli was hilarious.

    Now that’s something I wish I had of taken photos of!

  9. grasswire Says:

    hahahahahahaha… wicked.
    I love it, like all the stories that start with “when I used to work in a carnival”

  10. Turkish Prawn Says:

    On the non-nudie side of things, Action Girl and I did make a chocolate discovery in Brugge that we have since hunted for again but never found here in the states. Tea Chocolate. All it is (so far as we can tell) is good, dark chocolate with finely ground Earl Grey in it. The bergamot in the tea goes beautifully with the chocolate and it’s a taste that’s very addictive. Though we’ve never seen it here and even asked a few chocolatiers about it to no avail, we have made it on our own at times. It’s well worth the effort when you think you can face a bit of the brown stuff again!

    -TP

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