God’s toe marks. Grand Canyon north rim, Arizona, USA. 2005

Back in 2005, my wife and I visited the north rim of the Grand Canyon. One particularly beautiful day we were out on a point, up above the track, laying on our backs watching the condors soaring above. It was all so blissfully beautiful. Just laying there enjoying the company and the place reminded me of a quatrain from the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam

A Book of Verses underneath the Bough,
 A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread–and Thou
   Beside me singing in the Wilderness–
 Oh, Wilderness were Paradise enow!

As we lay there together, whole-heartedly enjoying the moment, our bliss was shattered by a nasally high pitched shrieking declaration of,

“OHHHH…….MYYYY…….. GAWD!!”
“WILLYA JUSS LOOKIT THAT!!”

“IT’S JUSSO BEUDDIFUL!!”

“YOU’D HAVTA BE NUTS NOT TO BELIEVE IN GAWD AFFTA SEEIN THIS!!”

“LOOKKIT YOU CAN EVEN SEE WHERE GAWD’S TOES WENT WHEN HE MADE THE PLACE!!”

I couldn’t resist jumping up to have a look to what kind of raucous creature made such a noise.

Yep there was no surprise there. Standing in the middle of the track below us was a very chunky woman dressed in brightly coloured tight knitted synthetic T-shirt and shorts, accessorized with rhinestone encrusted; cat’s eye shaped glasses and toeless shoes with heels way too high to walk in such surroundings. She looked like a cross between a Gary Larsson cartoon and Brigid Polk’s portrayal of Estelle, in Andy Warhol’s movie “Bad”.

Next to the shrieker was a drab little fellow who was the personification of beige looking at what I presume was his wife, was pointing at.

So I took a photo of what she was pointing at.

Evidence of the existence of a god

 My only regret is that I didn’t take a picture of them.

9 thoughts on “God’s toe marks. Grand Canyon north rim, Arizona, USA. 2005”

  1. And that, THAT is why we need to make sure we never kill off the American mountain lion. If we are very, very, very lucky, he will spot her and thin out our heard a bit for us.

    Ugh..

    -Turkish Prawn

  2. Oh, will all due respect to Turkish, and you, of course, Professior Buffnik, is there room for the opposite opinion?

    I love her comment in her high pitched voice and sartorial splendor!! Ok. I can see that your silence shattered on such a profound level can be jolting, but c’mon…what she said in her own way is why you and your wife were having your own moment AND her analogy to God’s toes was quite creative I thought!! I see it. I really do.

    That place and its majestic beauty does evoke all of our spiritual angels–whether we conclude there’s a god or not. Now, thanks to you, we know that some of them wear rhinestones.

  3. You don’t need a photo for this. The quote is so beautifully put across that these two are certainly vibrant in my imagination. Well, one is vibrant and one is um beige :-) Great post. Cracked me up big styl-ee.

  4. Turkish

    I bet she probably was also a member of the NRA and had a pistol in her handbag (no, not in Mr Beige). Any mountain lion that came across her, probably would’ve come out of the meeting, second best.

    Pat

    For me, religion is a bit like penises. I know we tend all like our own but I’m happier if other people keep their’s in their pants and don’t wave it all around the place.

    On a serious note I object to noisy people in beautiful natural settings. Selfish bastards think that for their own gratification they can affect many other people. This goes double for those sods that scream out at look out points so they can hear the echo. Don’t even get me started about dirt bike riders (a pox on them).

    What I didn’t say in the post (but should have) was that, what she shouted out was like a belligerent challenge to who ever was in earshot; and there were plenty of other people around.

    Oh well….

    can’t live with ’em…..

    not allowed to kill ’em.

    Epic

    Thanks, and I’m glad it gave you a laugh. I was thinking of you as I wrote it.

    “WHAT??!!”

    I can hear you exclaim across the oceans. What I meant to say, was that every time I insert speech in one of my post I think of the advice you gave on that matter so long ago.

  5. Well, that’s about as unique a view on religion as I’ve heard is the best I can say. I’m afraid with this many triggers, I could have field day if I deliberately wanted to “get you started”…I’ll start with…something delusional…me on a dirt bike.

  6. Pat

    You know what they say, “don’t compete, be unique. I now have an image in my head of the queen on a dirt bike. I don’t think she’d be amused.

    Anon

    Thanks for dropping by and yes I could just kick myself for not getting a shot of them….. with a camera that is.

  7. Actually, what I meant was that you could THINK OF me in many ways, but beige is not one of them. At least, I don’t think… now you’ve gone and turned me all paranoid.

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